Perspectives Center for Holistic Therapy

View Original

Talking About Sex With Your Therapist

by Stacey Wright

Sex is a part of life, yet for various reasons, it is common for fear and hesitation to keep us from asking questions or voicing concerns about sex and intimacy. This may be the case with your partner, friends, medical professionals, or even in the safety of the therapy room, with your therapist.

Can I Talk About Sex in Therapy?

Absolutely! Therapy is a safe and confidential space to share sexuality and intimacy concerns and get help. Sex is a common topic to address in individual or couples therapy.

Many people worry about doing so, however. Worries about being “normal,” a general discomfort about discussing sexual issues, and fear of judgment are common obstacles to why many people may be hesitant to talk about sex with their therapist.

Even therapists can be reluctant to broach the topic for a number of reasons — fear of offending clients, embarrassment, or lack of confidence in the subject matter. Research shows that over half of therapists don’t ask clients about sexual concerns.

As holistic therapists, we recognize and affirm that along with work, friends, and family, sexuality is one of the most important areas for discussion in psychotherapy. The sexual self impacts self-image, confidence, and self-acceptance and is a part of overall physical and mental well-being.

Sexuality and Holistic Therapy

Sexuality has a wide impact on our life and may be contributing to the presenting problems of clients seeking counseling, such as anxiety and depression. Early messages about sexuality impact an individual’s self-acceptance, self-worth, relationships, attitudes towards religion, and sense of belonging. The often conflicting cultural and social messages of “acceptable” sexuality are major developmental factors.

Discussion of sexual topics and concerns can help heal generations of shame and suffering and lead to greater body acceptance and intimacy and fulfillment in relationships.

Concerns, questions, and personal history related to sexuality are all items that are appropriate and welcome in the therapy session with your therapist. The topics may lead to important work or discoveries related to your other goals in therapy.

About Sex Therapy

Therapists with advanced training in human sexuality and sex therapy (sex therapists) can further help you to explore, learn, and heal in areas of intimacy, sexual concerns, sexuality, sexual identity, gender identity, relationships, desire, love, and connection. Sex therapy is counseling provided by a mental health professional. It is primarily talk therapy, like most other traditional psychotherapy interventions.

The largest organization for professionals specializing in this field, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), has a vision that "affirms the fundamental value of sexuality as an inherent, essential, and beneficial dimension of being human."

Sexuality as a Core Part of Wellness

Research supports sexuality as a key part of overall wellness. I encourage and advocate for you to bring any concerns related to desire, intimacy, connection, love, relationships, gender, and sexuality into the therapy room.

Your whole self is welcome, and a professional therapist is ready to support you and connect you with the resources that can answer your questions and help in your healing journey.

How Do I Know if It Is Okay to Talk About Sex with My Therapist?

Many individuals wonder if it's appropriate or acceptable to discuss sex with their therapist. The truth is, as a holistic psychotherapist and sex therapist, I strongly believe that open and honest conversations about sex are not only permissible but also essential to your overall well-being.

If you are concerned, nervous, or unsure, it is ok to just ask. For example, you might say, “I want to talk about some topics related to my sex life, but I want to make sure it’s ok to talk about here.”

Your therapist is a trained professional who is equipped to handle discussions on various topics, including sexuality. They are bound by strict ethical guidelines that prioritize your comfort, confidentiality, and well-being. Remember, therapy is a safe and non-judgmental space where you can openly explore your thoughts, concerns, and experiences related to sex and intimacy.

If you have questions, curiosities, or struggles surrounding your sexuality, discussing these matters with your therapist can provide valuable insights, support, and guidance. Trust yourself and your therapist to navigate these conversations with sensitivity, respect, and expertise, fostering a path of healing and growth.

Interested in Learning More About Therapy and Sexuality?

Reach out to schedule a consultation and find a therapist who is the right fit for you. Our holistic therapists have a wide range of specializations, including sex therapy.

We understand the importance of addressing sexual concerns and creating a safe space for open and honest discussions about intimacy and sexuality. Take the courageous step towards healing and personal growth by seeking the support you deserve.