It can be challenging to recognize codependency in ourselves, especially when it's been our way of life for so long. But the truth is, codependency is a pattern of behavior that can have damaging effects on our relationships with others. If left unchecked, it can lead to resentment, bitterness, and even addiction. Fortunately, therapy for codependency can help us identify and break patterns of unhealthy behavior and create healthier relationships with ourselves and others. In this article, we'll explore what codependency is, what causes it, and how therapy for codependency can help us break free and create healthier relationships.

What is Codependency?

Codependency is a set of behaviors and thinking patterns that can prevent us from forming and maintaining healthy relationships. It is often characterized by an excessive focus on the needs of others at the expense of our own. Codependent people often feel that they are responsible for the happiness and wellbeing of others, and they may go to great lengths to try to control or fix the behavior of the people in their lives.

At its core, codependency is a way of relating to others in which we give more than we receive. We become overly invested in the needs of others and neglect our own, leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and resentment. Codependency can also lead to feelings of powerlessness and a lack of control over our lives.

What Causes Codependency?

Codependency can be caused by a variety of factors, including childhood trauma, family dynamics, and mental health issues.

Childhood trauma can lead to an unhealthy need for control in our relationships with others. We may have developed these patterns in response to an environment in which we felt powerless or helpless. We may have learned to cope with difficult emotions by focusing on the needs of others, or by becoming overly invested in their lives.

Family dynamics can also play a role in the development of codependency. Growing up in a family where one or both parents have addiction issues, one or both parents are overly controlling, or the child is put the position of parenting or caring for their parent are a few of the situations that can lead to a sense of powerlessness and a need to control others.

Finally, mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and attachment disorders can also contribute to codependent behavior. People with these conditions may be more prone to feelings of guilt and shame and may become overly invested in the needs of others as a way of coping.

Symptoms of Codependency

Codependency can manifest in a variety of ways, both physically and emotionally. Common symptoms may include:

• Feeling like you need to be in control of others

• Feeling like you need to be needed by others

• Feeling guilty or ashamed for saying "no" to others

• Struggling to set boundaries in relationships

• Having difficulty expressing emotions

• Feeling like your identity is wrapped up in your relationships

• Feeling like you don't have a voice in your relationships

• Feeling like you need to be perfect to be accepted

The Patterns of Codependency

Codependent patterns of behavior often involve a cycle of unhealthy behavior and feelings. We tend to become overly invested in the needs of others and neglect our own. We may feel guilty or ashamed for saying "no" or setting boundaries. We may become overly controlling or manipulative in our relationships in an attempt to feel in control. We may also become overly dependent on the approval of others in order to feel valued and accepted.

These patterns of codependency can lead to a cycle of resentment and bitterness. We may start to feel taken for granted, or like our needs are not being met. We may start to feel like our relationships are one-sided and unfulfilling. This can lead to a feeling of powerlessness and a need for control.

How to Heal from Codependency

The first step to healing from codependency is recognizing that you have a problem. It can be difficult to admit that our behavior is unhealthy and that we need help. But it is important to remember that codependency is a pattern of behavior, not a personality trait. It is possible to break free from these patterns and create healthier relationships.

The next step is to seek out professional help. Therapy for codependency can help you identify and change your patterns of unhealthy behavior, learn how to set healthier boundaries in your relationships, and gain a better understanding of your needs and feelings.

Benefits of Therapy for Codependency

Therapy for codependency can be an invaluable tool for breaking free from unhealthy patterns of behavior and creating healthier relationships. It can help you recognize and understand your codependent patterns, develop healthier ways of relating to others, and learn how to set and maintain boundaries in your relationships.

Therapy can also help you gain a better understanding of yourself and your needs. By exploring your past experiences and relationships, you can gain insight into your behavior and gain a deeper understanding of your emotions. This can help you develop a healthier relationship with yourself and learn how to value and prioritize your own needs.

CODA Support Meetings

The organization Co-Dependents Anonymous offers resources and support groups for individuals seeking to break free from unhealthy patterns of codependency. Meeting options include in-person, online and Zoom. The CoDA website provides a page to search available codependency meetings.

How to Find a Therapist for Codependency

Finding the right therapist is key to successful therapy for codependency. It is important to find a therapist who is experienced in working with codependency and who understands the complexities of codependent behavior. Our team of therapists are grounded in a holistic approach to treatment, seeing the whole you.

You can start your search by asking for referrals from friends and family, or by searching online for therapists in your area. You can check out our directory of holistic therapists and reach out to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to learn more. It is important to make sure that you feel comfortable with the therapist and that they have a good understanding of your needs.

Tips for Staying Healthy in Codependent Relationships

Once you have begun to heal from codependency, it is important to maintain healthy relationships with yourself and others. Here are a few tips for staying healthy in codependent relationships:

• Recognize and respect your own needs.

• Set and maintain boundaries.

• Practice self-care.

• Communicate your needs and feelings in a healthy way.

• Focus on yourself and your own goals.

• Spend time with people who support and value you.

How to Break Free from Codependency

Breaking free from codependency can be a long and difficult process. It is important to remember that it is possible to break free from codependent patterns of behavior and create healthier relationships. Here are some tips for breaking free from codependency:

• Recognize and acknowledge your codependent behavior.

• Reach out for help and support.

• Develop healthier coping mechanisms.

• Practice self-care and be gentle with yourself.

• Set and maintain boundaries in your relationships.

• Make time for yourself and your own needs.

Get Help for Codependency

Codependency is a damaging pattern of behavior that can have a negative impact on our relationships with ourselves and others. But it is possible to break free from codependent patterns and create healthier relationships. Therapy for codependency can help us identify and change our unhealthy patterns of behavior and learn how to set healthier boundaries in our relationships. If you think you may be struggling with codependency, reach out for help.

Contact us for a free 15-minute consultation to learn about how psychotherapy can help break patterns of codependency.